My Current Challenge.

Since our beautiful little Stella Love has arrived, life in our household has never been the same. The change is AMAZING ... adjusting to the change has been a challenge [for me, at least]. I LOVE this little girl. Eating her little arm & leg rolls is what I live for. And to top it off, she's beginning to smile & coo at us! Nothing more amazing than to have a precious little babe smile at you for the first time. M E L T.

Well, prior to Stella's arrival, we were constantly being told how having two kids is a hard adjustment ... even more so than having three. Really? That's what I was thinking at the time. Could it really feel like that much of a change?

Answer : YES.

Two is indeed a huge change. And maybe I see it as "huge" because this time around I'm a full-time stay at home mama, who's nursing a newborn & in between the 3 hour feedings, entertaining a four year old. Just when I finish feeding her & getting her to nap [all which takes me about 1.5 hrs sometimes 2], a CUTE little boy looks up at me asking if I'm ready to play tackle. Yup, as in he wants to tackle me on the floor. HA - BOYS!

My answer : YES.

Yes, Noah, I will play tackle with you. I am dead tired because I don't sleep at night, but sure I'll play tackle because I love you. We also do more non-aggressive things like play card games, read books, play outside, legos, talk about life, sing silly songs, etc. I ENJOY our time & am so glad we get to spend every day together. He's adjusted so incredibly well w/ Stella here & also w/ my need to tend to her. There are those rare days where he's the brunt of my frustrations, but I am SO thankful he loves me despite those moments. He's the BEST.

So, yeah, life is different but a good different. My challenge is this - finding balance. How in the world do I manage my time so I can get everything done?

I love to know what's happening & when ... you know, one of those annoying planners. ;) I realize I may not fully figure out how to juggle all my responsibilities right now, but finding a balance is worth searching for because that's what I crave. However, at the end of each day, I rest knowing that my "job" of loving on my kids & making sure all their needs are met is the *most* rewarding job I will ever have. Loosing sleep [& sometimes my mind] is completely worth it. Now, what keeps me sane is my awesome husband ... he let's me go anywhere or do anything I need to when I need to. Even just walking away & taking a shower can be just the amount of quiet I need. Mark is AWESOME & I am BLESSED to walk this journey alongside him.

I know over time it will get better, but as of now, I'm trying to look at the bigger picture. Looking outside of my tired self to truly cherish these moments while they're still little. I am honestly in SHOCK at how quickly Noah is growing up ... the face is filling out, his little body is starting to feel thicker ... I can't handle it! So for now, I will relish these crazy long days we have together & get over the fact that I sometimes stay in my PJ's all day & have no time to myself because time with them is worth everything to me.

// VANESSA